jackass (by BC Taylor)

Arrived last night at the VIP check in around 3 a.m. thanks to Jack's RV skills and Darby's delirium. Jack and BC head for Starbucks since we can't brew our own (first technical difficulty). Steph via cell phone orders 80% skim milk, organic regular coffee, shot of hazlenut (not sugar-free, b/c "sugar-free makes you !@#$ your pants"). Confusion sets in when the barista asks, "how many shots-we normally put 5 in a venti." Jack panics, collects himself, then calmly orders 3 shots. His confidence is then shaken when he can't remember if organic coffee is good or bad for his unborn child. If he'd only read Natural Mother with a Blackberry one more time. When asked for the name of the customer, I blurt out, "Jackass". The wait is on...